In a move that’s being described as both “optimistic” and “completely unhinged,” a local business has tasked freelance copywriter, Jamie Wordsmith, with writing a bestselling book, making it go viral, and securing a Nobel Prize – all by the end of the week.
“We believe in pushing the boundaries of what’s possible,” said Clara Demandsalot, CEO of Sky High Expectations Inc.
“And if anyone can pull off this trifecta, it’s Jamie. After all, they did write that viral Thread for us last month.”
Jamie, who usually writes promotional emails and snappy product descriptions for e-commerce brands, was blindsided by the request.
“I thought they were joking,” Jamie confessed, clutching their third cup of coffee of the morning. “But then they sent over a 20-page outline, a marketing strategy, and a list of potential Nobel Prize acceptance speech ideas. I haven’t slept in 72 hours.”
THE PROJECT KICKED OFF WITH THE PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPECTATION THAT JAMIE COULD CHURN OUT A MASTERPIECE OVER A LONG WEEKEND.
“You’ve got this,” read the motivational Slack message from Clara, sent at 3 AM. “And don’t forget the SEO keywords!”
As Jamie began their award-winning journey, challenges quickly arose.
“It’s not just writing the book,” Jamie explained. “I also have to plan the viral marketing campaign, manage the social media buzz, and apparently, figure out how to bribe the Nobel committee. Do they even take bribes?!”
Despite the mounting pressure, Jamie remains determined.
“I’ve got a killer title: ‘Unicorns, Algorithms, and the Human Condition: A Millennial’s Guide to Everything.’ Now I just need to write 300 pages that live up to it,” Jamie said, nervously eyeing their blinking cursor.
CLIENT DEMANDS ESCALATED AS DEADLINES LOOMED.
“Can you make it a bit more… profound?” Clara asked during a feedback session. “We’re aiming for something that’ll resonate with both TikTok teens and philosophy professors. And throw in a few viral challenges for good measure.”
Jamie’s friends and fellow freelancers have rallied around, offering support and an endless supply of coffee.
“We’re calling it ‘Operation Impossible,’” said best friend and fellow copywriter, Sam Quipster. “If Jamie pulls this off, they deserve all the prizes – and a year-long nap.”
THE FINAL HOUR DRAWS NEAR, AND JAMIE’S CONFIDENCE WOBBLES BUT NEVER BREAKS.
“I’ve got a draft, a marketing plan, and an outline for the Nobel speech,” Jamie reported. “Now I just need to go viral. No biggie.”
As the clock ticks down to Tuesday, one thing is clear: whether Jamie succeeds or ends up in a caffeine-induced coma, the copywriting community is watching.
“We’re rooting for Jamie,” said veteran copywriter and mentor, Pat Paragraph. “And if they win that Nobel Prize, we’re all adding it to our resumes.”
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